Happy New Year! In April!

Somehow, I've managed to not write a single update and the year is almost a third over. I don't know if procrastination quite covers such a delay. So let's pretend that the skies are cloudy and gray (hey, they are!), that the air has a distinctive chill (brrr, it does!), and that I'm trying to get into better shape (alas, I still am!). Now, for a quick swish of my wand (12 3/4, maple -- because it's delicious, with a golden bear hair for a core, probably a pube -- again, because it's delicious), and TADAA! It's January. At least for the next few minutes.

Perhaps I should recount all of the exciting news then, but that's most likely already been done over the phone, in an email, or on the other blog -- I'll instead make a rapid-fire intra-textual summation of the comic posts that never were, (I think only Kat seems able to craft consistently funny vignettes --- COO MY ASS! -- it still cracks me up), anyways, here it goes:

blasphemystified!
damn you Marty!
you can arm my altruists anytime!
Waldo totally raped your eyes!
he's changing his name to Rocky Balboa?
how can a 320 pound, 6'7" obese black man play soccer that well? And what's with the shoulder shot?
neon green and lemon yellow old school adidas -- mandatory!
what's so reluctant about him?
and then the dog bit him in the scrotum. I pretty much wet myself.
What?! But Ronaldo's garbage!

I think that's plenty. And the last one is actually a future prediction. Ten points if you can figure it out.